Thursday, October 27, 2011



Super Smash Bros Wii U: Meet Ridley!

It's that time Smash fans!
What's a blog by yours truly without a Ridley post?

Many detested my last Smash related blog post post due to my tone or my opinion, or both!

Well get used to it gang cause this one is gonna be a BIG one.

Prepare to be Riddled!

Meet the "most popular, highly requested, #1 shoo-in, Nintendo All-Star, more popular than Phoenix Wright, best of all time" character that everybody wants!

What do you think Sakurai?

Sakurai: I think that would probably be pretty impossible. [Laughs] If we had put our best efforts into it, we may have been able to do it. But he might have been a little slow. Would that be all right? [Laughs]

To Ridley Supporters this quote translates to:
"See?! Sakurai said he could work and knows how popular he is! Totally gonna be in SSB4"

Unfortunately, this quote does not help their cause.

Nobody is saying, that it's not possible for Sakurai to put Ridley in the game. Frankly, anything is possible...even if Sakurai categorizes it as pretty impossible

But to suggest that this quote is promising for Ridley is delusional. The question posed to Sakurai asked if it was ever a consideration, and as such, this answer demonstrates that it really wasn't and if it ever was, it wasn't taken seriously. I don't foresee any of that changing for the next Smash.

Ridley fans would argue that times have changed, Sakurai now knows how popular Ridley is, fan demand is going crazy, and if Ridley isn't in Sakurai would face a backlash like Megaman not being in MVC3.

Difference Being: Megaman is actually popular and relevant

Not to burst your bubble guys, but Sakurai isn't reading GameFAQs or Smashboards. The demand isn't anywhere near crazy, and if Ridley isn't playable, outside of a few thirteen year olds crying at their local Gamestop employees as protest, there won't be any form of backlash whatsoever.

Let's have a serious little conversation here about Ridley.

He's too big.

Now, when I say this, I'm not suggesting that he couldn't be re-sized.
My reasoning for this is that in every appearance he has ever been in, he has been a gigantic flying beast notable for being able to hold Samus in one claw, and drag her along a wall. Proportionally speaking, Samus, one of the tallest characters in Brawl, fits inside Ridley's head.

Many disregard this. This picture floats around as a "solid argument"

Looks good right? Well yeah, when you disregard what Ridley actually looks like in every other appearance.

This is what I call the "Reverse Olimar" argument. When you take away Ridley's proportional size relative to his game world, resizing him, as is done in the first picture, looks normal. Unfortunately, it's a blatant disregard for Ridley proportionally speaking as seen in the image directly above.

Olimar and Kirby on the other hand, both characters known to be the size of a quarter, aren't proportionally problematic. What I mean by this is, in the Pikmin games for example, the entire game focuses on Olimar as if he's a normal sized character. Even if he's the size of a quarter, there's nobody on the character roster that's appeared in the Pikmin games to demonstrate that size difference.

For example, if Mario walked into Pikmin world, he would literally squash Olimar like a bug. However, because Pikmin focuses on Olimar as relative to his game world at a normal size, with nothing in the Smash Universe as a point of reference, nothing about this picture is unreasonable.

Not to mention Olimar represented a new/popular series with a completely unique moveset. Not so much Ridley.

Whereas this looks completely absurd

Especially when Sakurai himself, when putting Ridley in as a critical boss has demonstrated this canon size, which falls in line with every other Ridley appearance ever.

This is where the Ridley champions point out the NES Metroid and the Melee intro. Because a 24 year old 8-bit game, and a split second cameo appearance completely erases every other appearance in every other game.

First: The Melee Intro

That's the smoking gun everyone uses.
The problem is a matter of two factors.

Perspective and Cinematics. Here is another screen grab from the Melee intro I'd like to share:

The perspective of this image is constantly ignored. RIdley is positioned much farther back than Samus than it appears. This can clearly be seen in motion.

For a much more direct correlation in viewing planes, I direct your attention to THIS screengrab from the Melee intro

That's closer to what we typically see Ridley sized as. Note how he's much taller than Samus and his head is roughly the size of Samus' torso. And that doesn't even include his wingspan which already looks immense in the image we're used to seeing.

Now I direct your attention to why Ridley is showcased this way. It's the very same reason why in this intro, when Samus jumps over Ridley, she stops, and floats in mid-air to shoot a missle at him.

It's Cinematics. The perspective, pacing and framing of this scene is carefully crafted to capture an action packed hallway fight between Samus and Ridley. That's precisely why the perspective is skewered and yet another reason why this wouldn't work as a deviation.

The purpose of this cinematic is to capture the action scene, and make Samus look heroic all within the course of a couple of seconds, in a hallway, at a fast pace. And even then, when you look closely as I've demonstrated, you can still see Ridley is still quite large.

Then we come to the NES example.

This game from 24 years ago, the first game in the series before anything ever developed, and with technological limitation is cited as a primary argument, despite evidence from every other recent game.

Unfortunately, Metroid Zero Mission, a remake of the Original Metroid showcases the developers intentions with more up to date technology. Suddenly, Ridley looks like he always does.

Some point to Super Metroid, in which case...he can still fit Samus in his mouth:

Lastly, people like to say that, much like Bowser, Ridley's size "fluctuates". I will give them credit. Ridley does fluctuate. He fluctuates from RIDICULOUSLY HUGE to PRETTY FREAKING BIG. It's impossible to expect every character to stay the exact same size in every game, but Ridley has been consistently much larger than Samus in every single appearance.

While Bowser at times has looked like this:

He has, in many occurrences, looked like this:

The size fluctuation of Bowser has ranged from Mario-sized, to Galaxy sized, where Ridley has remained at Galaxy size in all of his appearances. There's really not a legitimate recent game that contradicts that.

Now this isn't all to say that Sakurai, in some radical act of deviation, couldn't make Ridley a small playable character. Nobody is contending that it's not possible to do. I'm just contending that it's not entirely reasonable, and most of the arguments used like the ones above are weak, and are grasping at straws to prove a really non-important point.

It could happen, but what seems more logical? Sakurai keeping things consistent or just completely going against everything that has ever existed for this one time to appease a loud portion of GameFAQs users? If anything, I think Brawl showcased his intentions best.

Sakurai: (laughs)

I know everybody wants to wipe Brawl from their memory, (see my my last post for why they're dumb) however, it provides a lot of insight onto this subject as well.

For one, everyone argues about how popular Ridley is now. But they fail to mention just how popular he was prior to Brawl. Even as far back as Melee people were asking for Ridley. Just because he's a left-over doesn't make him a shoo-in.

If Ridley was arguably the most popular Metroid rep who made the most sense of being in the game, why did Sakurai choose Zero Suit Samus? His specific reasoning for Zero Suit Samus was for the SOLE PURPOSE of padding the Metroid character roster. If that was the case, why wasn't Ridley first in line?

There's no justification for ZSS over Ridley. I've had supporters try to tell me she actually was more important. Don't be delusional guys

Although, his popularity was taken into account in
Brawl: he was made a boss twice.

Couple this with the quote at the beginning and you start to see the views of the developers on this issue. They don't consider Ridley as playable character material. Unlike other game companies, Nintendo is pretty strict with having things a certain way and maintaining a level of quality.

This criteria befalls the whole Smash Bros roster. Character's typically need to be important, represent series respectably, have unique potential, and be feasible in the Smash bros universe. While many fans will argue it's all about fan support, the sad truth is, it's not. Fan support alone won't make Ridley playable. That being said, aside from Metroid die-hard fans, he's not that important, he doesn't offer anything entirely unique and of course, he's not really feasible on the Smash Bros roster.


Looking at the criteria above, and thinking reasonably:

-Samurai Goroh
-Professor Layton
-Little Mac
-New Kid Icarus rep from Uprising
-New Zelda rep from Skyward Sword
-King K. Rool
-Duck Hunt Dog

Just to name a few. Lots of ripe candidates if you think reasonably.

Ridley isn't the end all be all.

You guys can hope. I have no problem with hoping for a character that is unreasonable or has no chance of ever being in. (I'm guilty of that with Geno) My problem is when one deludes themselves into a rose-tinted world where it's actually probable. Ignoring all evidence to the contrary and only picking the weak and flawed portions of testimony to make their larger case.

I contend that we will never see a playable Ridley in an Official Smash Bros game. If I'm wrong, I will publicly come out and admit it. I have no emotional attachment and I fully accept that there's that possibility. I just feel strong enough in everything I've outlined here today to take this firm stand.

But who knows, maybe one day, this will become a reality.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Super Smash Bros Wii U: Meet Masahiro Sakurai

Mr. Sakurai is a man hated by most of the Smash Community. He is the chief director of every Smash Bros game to date but he is hated because he made Smash Bros Brawl.
Brawl is arguably one of the best games ever made.

You're itching to interrupt me here. I can feel it. So instead of explaining why, let me share some images with you.

If this didn't satisfy you, then you people are spoiled. Plain and simple.

Not only is it the most expansive Nintendo game ever created, (I dare you to show me any other Nintendo game that comes even remotely close to providing everything PS3 and Xbox players get on a regular basis) but it has the best roster of characters ever compiled into any game, the best collection of video game music ever collected into any game ever, and on top of all that, it's an absolute blast to play.

Oh..but it's too slow and floaty.

Shut. Up.

Smash isn't designed to be competitive. It's a party game.

Plus, what other "Competitive Fighter" defaults to 4 players, items on (or even has items for that matter), and requires knocking your opponent off the screen?

But I digress

Sakurai: This guy needs to calm down!

That's a good point. So this is the man universally hated for "trolling" and hating the competitive community, even though...he technically created it. There's even a Melee Combo video called "Take that, Sakurai" that starts off with some moron hitting his Brawl game with a hammer before he shows clips of the glorious Melee... a game made by Sakurai.

"Yeah! Take that Sakurai! I'm gonna go play one of your games!"

Sakurai: Swing, swing, swing the hammer! It drops with fearsome force!

See? He doesn't even care.

The truth of the matter is, he's not trolling you. He's making an awesome game. I've seen the quote "Melee was made for the fans, Brawl was made for money". Yea, because I'm sure Nintendo's incentive for making Melee wasn't making a profit. Not to mention it had much less content, rushed everything, and more unoriginal clones

Sakurai: Ahh... That really takes me back.

These fans are ungrateful and honestly, they'll never be satisfied with anything but Melee. Smash is never going to get "more competitive" in nature, no matter how many ledge grabs you allow per battle, and no matter what character you ban.

Sakurai: His cape exude coolness. He overwhelms enemies with his mach-speed sword!

Well it was too fast for those babies we refer to as "Competitive" Smashers. "Oh boo hoo. I can't handle any luck factor, no matter how meaningless, in a party game despite actual competitive fighters having plenty of random/wildcard elements" Other communities deal with it. The MVC3 community finds unique ways to deal with Dark Phoenix. You guys cry and make up rules about chicken Meta-Knight fighters who plank on a ledge.

Sakurai: You must recover! But only 50 times?! Oh, the horror!

So to express your rage you direct every single complaint at a 41-year old brilliant Japanese game designer whose best friend is a cat.

Sakurai: Aw.... Isn’t he cute!

It's not that Sakurai doesn't care, you're just expecting this game to be something completely different than what it was always designed to be at it's absolute core. All you who whine will be disappointed with Smash Bros 4. It won't be more competitive, it might have randomness even more detrimental than tripping, and sorry guys, but this guy won't be playable.

Sakurai: I think that would be pretty impossible! (Laughs)

More on that HERE

But don't hate Sakurai. In fact, hate yourselves. You were given a game where Mario, Solid Snake, Sonic the Hedgehog and Captain Olimar can all fight on the Halberd, throwing Pokeballs, with Kirby Superstar music playing and you think it's a disappointment.

What a shame. Here's a helpful link for those who might be reconsidering their feelings

I realize this post didn't really focus on Sakurai as much as I intended and for that I apologize. I will however provide you with this short video giving you a glimpse into the daily life of Mr. Sakurai.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword: Why so much hype?

With November rolling around, as does the release of Nintendo's latest Zelda game, Skyward Sword. Naturally, there is loads of excitement purely because it's a Zelda game.

But while I myself plan to pick up the game on release for that very reason, I can't quite determine why there is such a level of hype. Okay, it's a Zelda game, but what makes it exciting beyond that?


Some say it's the motion controls with Wii Motion Plus that's the big thing here. How is this exciting though? Twilight Princes gave us waggle motion controls with pointer aiming, so it's nothing really new. It's a minor technical upgrade. Some argue it's all the puzzles that involve specific sword swings.


Technically speaking, these puzzles could have been done as far back as OOT. Swinging your sword differently has always been incorporated in 3D Zeldas, it's just now being acknowledged, and is it just me, or does the swordplay look incredibly stiff as a result of the motion controls?


I also have a concern that the game is going to be so focused on Motion Plus "Minigames" that it feels more like Mario Party then it does a real adventure.


And I've had this concern before Jeff Gerstmann said

"But the last time I played it, it felt less like an action-adventure game and more like a hastily slapped together set of Wii MotionPlus tech demos. I assume it's a real game now."

And I can't even stand this guy!

Other than that, what else is there really? The environment seems like an interesting concept, and I'm glad they're trying something slightly different with the storyline...even if it's a DeviantArt dream come true with a Link/Zelda Romance.


But beyond that, nothing shown has really been interesting. The trailers have all been mostly uninspired gameplay montages with a really weak musical pump. Where's that sensation we got with the incredible works of art that were the Twilight Princess trailers? Say what you will about Twilight Princess as a game, but the trailers were pure hype.


A lot of people like to argue

"Well! Twilight Princess showed stuff that wasn't in the game! I'd rather see stuff actually in the game then just get hype!"

You guys do realize that stuff is going to get cut either way...right? This is kind of irrelevant.

Even the new items, and abilities are underwhelming. In fact, most if not all are rehashes!

Rolling Bombs- a poor man's Bombchu (OOT)
Beetle - a poor man's Seagull (Windwaker) that drops bombs (Tingle Tuner)
Bug Catching Net - LTTP
Double Clawshot - (TP)
Harp - New Instrument, Same concept.
Gust Bellow - Gust Jar (Minish Cap)
Mogma Mitts - Mole Mitts (Minish Cap)
Whip - (Spirit Tracks)

Once again, say what you will about Twilight Princess, but how awesome were the Spinner and the Ball and Chain. Completely new items that were actually really cool.

Pun Intended

I'm not saying this game is going to be bad nor am I hating it. Like I said, I'll be buying it on release purely because it's a new Zelda game. I'm just wondering why there's this extreme level of excitement when everything presented that far just feels....ehhh. Is it just because it's a new Zelda game? Is that all it takes now? Cause I'm sorry gang, but I just can't get excited about sprinting.

I hope to be pleasantly surprised, I really do. I just have a feeling this is gonna be the Twilight Princess reaction all over again, but worse. The fans hype up a game completely unreasonably to meet their wildest dreams and then hate it when it fails to deliver. Twilight Princess actually had some really amazing things to support the hype. Skyward Sword doesn't seem like it does.....but only time will tell.

Either way, it's a Zelda game.


Thursday, October 20, 2011

Super Smash Bros Wii U: Meet the Fans

The newest Smash Bros game will be a topic of heated discussion on this blog as we learn more about it. Until that point though, we'll be talking about all the crazy speculation, and insanity that surrounds this series and its community.

Today, we begin with the fans of the Smash Bros. series.

This is truth. I don't know if it's actually little children on GameFAQs SSB Wii U board, but they definitely act like it.

Whether it be the ridiculous character suggestions, complete misinformation, and supreme stubbornness, most of the people on this board at the absolute least have the mentality of children.

This is what people want, and expect!

When it comes to Character Suggestions, I'm very critical. I'm known as a villain because I tell people that characters won't get in, but the fact of the matter is, I have a track record to back me up. There are certain characters who fit the mold and make sense, while most others simply don't cut it.

Not only did I correctly reason out the exact number of boxes on the character select screen, but every character I said who would not be in, didn't make the cut. The only character that proved me wrong was Pokemon Trainer, and that's because he came in a form that wasn't what was being discussed.

You jerk...

Characters like Diddy Kong, Olimar, King Dedede, Ike, Sonic and Lucario were choices I said made sense.

Guys like Ridley, Bowser Jr, Toad, and...Diskun just don't make any sense.

Diskun? Really?

While we'll spend more time on specific choices later, (Especially Ridley. Lot of ground to cover there) my point is that people will vehemently defend these character. Some, (Ridley fans in particular) have an emotional attachment to their lovable All-Stars and will burn any nay-Sayer at the stake.

Aww he's so cute!

They won't listen to reason or logic. They just want their character in the game no matter what the cost. They don't see things from the developers point of view, nor the corporate point of view. Obviously fan requests are important, but it has to coincide with reality.

Being stubborn is just immature. It's one thing to want a character but realize it's not feasible, (Like my love for Geno) but it's another thing to want a character so much that you ignore logic and sensibilities so you can live in your happy bubble with Bubbles from Clu Clu Land.

...No. She won't be playable either.

Just accept that it might not be feasible. You're less disappointed if it doesn't work out and you're more excited if it does.

The last thing I want to address is the sheer amount of misinformation. Particularly about this guy:

Masahiro Sakurai is going to be a special guest on my blog. I know him personally. We chat on twitter, he sends me pictures of his cat.

But if you went to GameFAQs you'd think this guy was the spawn of Satan who doesn't care about anything and just wants to turn a profit. Not only that but people will attribute quotes and make up intentions that NEVER existed.

Sakurai said Broom Hatter was in the final build but was cut due to time constants!

All I can really do is laugh at these. Come on guys check your facts! Sakurai never said he was purposely trolling the competitive community or that his cat was being considered as a playable character. (Although that wouldn't surprise me)

In fact, the things Sakurai actually says like "I think Ridley would be pretty impossible" are completely ignored.

They're still talking about Ridley?

For now, I want to leave you guys with a message. Don't take this so seriously. We all love Smash Bros. Don't get emotionally attached to characters beyond reason. And if you want to make up facts...honestly...keep doing that cause it's pretty entertaining.

For now, I depart. But stay tuned to Critical Hit, because our next Smash Bros blog post will feature the one and only Masahiro Sakurai!